Foster Care and Me

Heellooo Lovers! 

So as stated in my last blog I have had a lot going on!  I think the best way to catch you up is to devote a post to a specific time span or major event. So stayed tuned lovers! 

Naturally, I thought a very appropriate place to begin is the biggest thing that has happened which is becoming a foster mom.  I have had many of the same questions so I thought I would answer them here for you all! 

How did you get into fostering? 

Well, the short answer is God.  I prayed over this quietly for years (literally). I prayed for a strong enough calling to pursue it and the right time in my life for it to come about. Well, in typical God like style it all just kind of fell into place in his perfect timing. He opened the door to an amazing placing agency who walked me step by step through the lengthy and sometimes very irritating process of getting myself and my house ready to be a foster home.  Grace Manor is amazing! 

What did you have to do to become a foster parent? 

It started with a mountain of paperwork.  I felt like every time I turned one packet in I was given a new packet to complete.  They want to know everything from your income, job,  intentions with fostering, all about your family....like everything. I had to get the FBI fingerprints done, which being an educator mine are already in "the system" but for some reason that wasn't enough.  I had to get inspections done on my house for health and safety. Attend trainings for about 6 weeks every Saturday.  The very last thing was the home study,  Four hours, talking about Y-O-U.   I admit that was a bit draining only because I don't enjoy nor am I good at talking about myself.  The whole process took me about 6-7 months to complete.   But like I said, the placing agency walked me through it step by step, checked box by checked box.  It felt so good when I received the email saying "You are open!" meaning your certification  is complete. 

Isn't fostering hard?

YES! Harder than words can express and properly convey.  You are given a child to love as your own and take care of them, heal them from their trauma  and with little notice they (CPS) move them to another home for various reasons.  Each time a kid was moved I was given about a days notice. So not only do you as the parent have to process the grief of losing a kid but you have to be strong and explain to this child that they are being moved...again....and be strong through  their breakdown.  The shower was a great place for me to sit and cry during these times.  That is the very worst of fostering. There are other annoyances  like dealing with inept CPS workers, biological parent visits and the aftermath of that, all the initial appointments that have to be completed in a short time but none of that compares to when a child is taken out of your home. 

If it's so hard why do you do it? That can't be healthy...

True.  The short answer is I do it for the kids.  I am very mindful of where my emotions are at when a kid leaves, and through the grieving process after. I allow myself ample time to "recover" so that I can be fully available to for the next child's needs.  The longer I am in the foster world the more I understand just how fast things can change and I have to be ok with that. 

What is the most valuable thing you have learned in fostering? 

I think the most valuable thing I have learned is to be fully present.  When you are present you won't regret a thing and you won't have to ask 'what if' because you know you have done everything for that child possible.  I am so glad for the time I had with my two placements in the past year and hope that experiences I was able to give them stay with them for.a lifetime even though they are not physically with me anymore. 

What is the best thing about fostering? 

The best thing about fostering is knowing you are making an impact on a child's life. It is not about you, trust me no one would foster if it was, and when those kids fall into the routine and become a part of your family.  That is what it's about for me. Whatever hurt or heartache I have to deal with to know those kids know they are loved for even a short time is what drives me. Because the time they are with you potentially could be long term life changing for them, and definitely is immediately life changing. 

I can't do it! There is no way! 

yes you can! If you a drive to make a child's life better you can foster.  there is so much love and support out there...it's unreal! 

Those are the major things I have been asked along the way. I would love to answer anymore of your questions,  just leave them in the comments and if/when I collect enough of them I will create another blog of more questions and answers. I would LOVE to hear from you!   Foster ing is a huge part of my life and I could talk about it forever and I want to be an open book! 

Until next time! 

XO! 

Turner Syndrome and Me

Lovers!

It's been ugh...awhile! So much has happened (never you worry...we will catch up in time!) But tonight I want to talk with you about something near and dear to me....because I am a Turner Syndrome girl and I have recently learned there is a whole month dedicated to TS awareness! How cool is that?!!

First of all you may be saying what in the actual are you talking about? I have never even heard of Turner Syndrome! Let me give you some basic facts. It is chromosomal and strictly effects girls...about 1 in 2,000 in fact.  Girls who have TS either have a mutation or complete deletion of the X chromosome. This often leads to severe health problems most often with the heart and kidneys. Many TS girls have to under go open heart surgery or are stuck on dialosis due to a U shaped kidney all of this as young girls or babies.  Other areas that can be effected are the inablity to have children, vision problems, academic issues especially in math class.  Every TS girl is short, very short most under 5 feet tall. Both of my parents are extremely tall 5"11 and 6'4"....I am 5'2" and very tall for a girl with TS.  I often wonder how tall I would have ended up being if I was "normal",  Perhaps I would have made the volleyball team in 7th grade ;) Let's be real, that had nothing to do with my height and everything to do with my lack of sport skill!

So what has this looked like for me?  Growing up I struggled in math class. I was a typical high achiever and made good grades but always struggled in math. I never understood why until I learned I had TS.  Child bearing is probably nothing more than a wish now.  Obviously, God is much bigger than any "syndrome" should He see fit.  I have had a high blood pressure diagnosis since I was around 18.   All that is to say I am extremely blessed and lucky.  These are very mild, easy to deal with symptoms and complications.  Some girls don't even make it out of womb alive because their heart defect is so great.  I count my blessings everyday.  I am also very fortunate that my parents are who they are and I had extensive testing done on basically every part of my body that could have been effected and all came out well.  I thank God each day that my parents faced it head on, not knowing what would be found with such strength, that in turn gave me strength when we were all unsure of how a test would be returned.

I am not really sure why we refuse to talk about things like this.  I say we because for the longest really, until a few weeks ago,  I would acknowledge the fact that I had TS at the doctor's office for their knowledge  but pretty much after that it was like it wasn't a part of me.  My eyes were opened when I ran across a post for TS Awareness month.  I began doing more research on this huge part of my life. This is not something that will ever go away so I may as well learn about it, was my thought. What I gained from researching was an understanding of much of what I dealt with and didn't know why as a child/teen and an even bigger understanding of how extremely lucky and blessed I am. God protected me from the worst of a potentially horrible disease/syndrome.

I am not sick, I am not ashamed, I am proud that I can spread awareness of something few know about and even fewer speak about.   The butterfly is the symbol of the TS community, it's a beautiful  choice because the butterfly to me is a symbol of something who goes through a struggle and comes out the other side even more beautiful. In my opinion that is a perfect fit for every girl with Turner Syndrome.

Until next time Lovers!

XO!