Whole 30 Day 2

 Well Lovers, 

Today was the mondayest Tuesday that there ever was! The first hour of my day included waking up late and breaking a glass food container that was full...did you hear me...full! This was on my way out the door mind you! The rest of the day just seemed to follow suit...but there are a lot of positives too, Like, I didn't get in a car wreck (but was close!). 

I tell you all that to emphasize how important meal prepping is. The fact that I had food already prepared was the only reason I stayed on track today.  I mean that with every part of my body and soul.  Having good food ready to go literally kept me from the drive thru's and saying screw it!  I made it through a rough day with no cheating, so we can do that ya'll! It's in the little victories. 

Some physical observations about today: 

1) I was a bit tired. Haven't hit "the flu" part yet...dont worry it's coming! 

2) I had a few times I wanted to throw the towel in and eat the candy in my desk

3) I had a good workout, probably from not eating crap and then working out. 

4) But overall, feel good and feel proud I didn't give in,

Thats all I got on this Monday/Tuesday! 

Y'All come back now, ya hear! 

XO! 

Whole 30 - Day 1 + prep

 Hey Lovers! 

So it really wasn't my intention but after prepping for the week and discovering it was all whole 30 I said what the heck! LET'S GO! 

So I'm going to preface this whole situation with I can't do complicated.  So everything I'm going to share with you over the next 30 days is meant to make life extremely easy! I have done several whole 30s in the past and while I am not perfect I have learned some tricks.  

PRO TIP 1 - get your food prepped all at the same time

I prep my food on Sunday because my work week is M-F but I know that's not the case for everyone. Just prep before you get into your work week.   Here is a list of what I prepped for the week 

1. scrambled eggs 

2. frozen pepper mix (put the frozen veggies in a skillet with some ghee or oil...done) 

3. sweet potato hash (I simply grated sweet potatoes and cooked them with ghee, cinnamon and nutmeg...will probably cube next time to see how that turns out)

4. mashed poatoes (boil potatoes and add ghee and almond milk, salt, pepper and garlic and mash) 

5. threw some chicken in the oven with primal kitchen BBQ sauce 

6.  Chicken Apple Sausage with a bag of pepper mix (literally just cooked them all in the pan)

7. cut up sweet potatoes into fries and put in the fridge to air fry when needed.  

That's it! They are all in containers in my fridge and I pull out what I need. I will make a "to go" container for lunches the night before.  The whole process took me about 2 hours from start to clean up. 

PROTIP 2 - invest in snacks and sauces.

I love going to our local health stores because they have all kinds of fun things. I love Lara Bars (just don't get chocolate or peanut butter flavored ones) and RX bars.  They make great snacks and on the go breakfast for those crazy mornings. 

Primal Kitchen! Primal Kitchen! Primal Kitchen! this company makes the greatest sauces and most are compliant! I currently have a BBQ sauce, Ketchup and Italian dressing.  Sauces are essential to keep food from being boring. 

PROTIP 3 - don't be afraid to bring your own stuff to a restaurant and don't be afraid to be picky when you order. 

whole 30 is hard enough as it is,  we can't be stuck at home or have to tell our people no for a whole month! And let's be real...no one likes going to a restaurant and watching others eating delish food (Although we have all done it)!! so we have to be creative and smart to be able to go out to eat. 

I met a friend at our local McAllisters Deli this afternoon.  I got a salad (had them take off the cheese, croutons, bacon and no dressing and add extra onions).  I had my primal kitchen dressing with me so BAM no dry salad for me! I also ordered with my choose 2 a potato.  I got a just a spud and had them hold the butter and sour cream and add all the veggies. I took that home, added my own ghee and chicken. topped with BBQ sauce.  So eating out can be done, just takes some planning. 

So now that we have some protips out of the way let's get into the day.  I feel great today! I know it's the stars in the eye, it's something new, flying high feeling but today was a good day. It's also amazing how much fuller you stay when you eat good foods over crap.  I did weigh and take a before picture.  In the interest of complete transparency I am starting at 221.6.   Now, whole 30 is not meant for weight loss! Be certain of that, but hopefully its a nice by product!  If you have done a whole 30 before you know you hit "the flu stage" a few days in and you feel worse before you feel better because your body is detoxing it passes and in the end you feel amazing!  

I am really glad you are here to go on this ride with me! I want to reenforce that I am so far from perfect, I will probably be throwing a two year old temper tantrum, because I was some dang pizza,  But there is value in sharing an experience and I will share all the tips tricks and ways I make it easy and doable.  

hollar at ya girl if you are doing this with me!! 

see y'all tomorrow lovers! 

XO! 

Breaking up with WW

 Hey Lovers!  

Until I find some sort of constant theme we are just gonna talk about whatever is currently going on in my life.  A whole bunch of me rambling and hoping you glean something from it.  

I am just like every other girl out there. I have done practically every diet, lifestyle and exercise program out there.  I have done WW for the longest (on and off since I was 15, true story).  I have done the programs where you order the foods. I have killed myself at the gym, done at home workouts...tried it all. Here is what I have learned, nothing works if your heart is not in it. Meaning if you are in it for the wrong reasons, or not fully committed you are going to fail.    Here are my views on a couple of the programs I have done.

WW - Probably the most livable program out there.  You count points, and basically decide if what you are going to eat is worth the points. When you go to meetings they compare it to a bank account.  It is a very slow process when using WW. Which slow is better in the long run, but can often be very discouraging because you can bust your butt all week and not lose anything. Then if you are like me you start thinking what the heck did I do all that work for? Enter the shame spiral...girls. Don't let yourself shame spiral!  

FOOD DELIVERY PROGRAMS - ummmm do you want to starve? you are gonna lose weight because you are gonna starve! Im just keeping it real with you! They are expensive, the food is generally not good, and if you are a hefty girl, such as myself, listen to me....you will starve and be grumpy!  These programs are not sustainable. They are not meant to be....so in return when you stop buying the food, you gain back the weight! 

GYM CLASSES - these are great until you are next to the skinny, blonde hair, blue eyed, doctors wife, who has the luxury of exercising as much as they want.  Girls, the shame spiral...once again. So you push yourself so you don't look bad next to barbie and then you can barely walk out of class and getting out of bed the next day is a workout all in itself.   Then you don't go back...then you start just donating your money to the gym. GUILTY! 

ONLINE WORKOUTS - these are wonderful because you can workout in the privacy of your own home, and avoid the comparing factor.  The downside is being alone sometimes we can cheat ourselves. I have found a really good trainer with Beachbody and Ilike what she says "You don't cheat me, you cheat yourself if you don't give 100%".  

So, where is the middle ground? How do we take care of ourselves and not burn out? First of all break up with those programs that don't work for you! BYE WW!!!  Keep things simple. That's how!  Enter, whole 30! 

So. whole 30 in and of itself doesn't come across as simple when you read about it. There is ALOT and I mean ALOT you can't have. No grains, no sugar, no legumes, no dairy.  Unfortunately, this means basically no eating out unless you really plan ahead.  The good news is you can make this super simple, and it's totally worth it.  

So we have food covered now what about exercise, pick one thing and concentrate on that. maybe taking a walk everyday or taking a bike ride.  I decided I would tackled a very very beginner yoga class offered on my beach body account.  pick one thing, stick to that and only that. 

Girls (and guys) we are in the mess together! I am going to take you through my whole 30 journey. You can count on me to keep it real with you! I promise just because today is great tomorrow I may be cussin' the world because I want a soda and pizza real bad.  So let's ride this train together!!!! 

Until tomorrow lovers! 

XO! 

March/April 2020

Hi Lovers! 

SOOOO March 2020 will forever be THAT month, y'all feel me?  That is when 'Rona came to town and our whole world turned upside down.   But I am here to tell you in the midst of all the bad it brought, it was actually a huge blessing for my little personal life.  Yep I said it! 

Most people know two major facts. Chemo kills everything in your body the bad cells that you are fighting and the good cells along with it that keep you healthy.  Second fact, kids are nasty critters and spread all the germs.  I mean I love them, with every fiber of my being, but they are nasty critters!  What do you get when you mix the two? A set up to become extremely sick.  SO naturally I was extremely worried about working along with everything else, I was gonna do it, but still scared!   

We discussed my first treatment in my last post, so after that infusion I ended up in the ER because I had a fever (they don't take that lightly) after being at work during the week,  It turned out to be nothing but just being worn down but still scary. SO between my 1st and 2nd infusion we got shut down.  Why was this is a good thing? I got to complete my treatments at home, no germs from kids, and basically couldn't go in public.  I really think God planned that just for me (haha not really but I do think I wasn't an oversight in His eyes), 

Treatments over the next few months were relatively uneventful.  I would go in, get my blood checked, see the doctor for a minute, get my infusion (that took about 3 hours) and we would go home and I would pretty much hunker down for the weekend (even tighter than shut down). Of course, we had our slumber party which was hands down my favorite part of the whole ordeal.   I made it all the way to the last treatment without any hiccups. 

The last treatment was umm....eventful.  So there is a name for it but basically my view blew and the chemo medicine went outside my veins  because even though we switched back and forth they were pretty much just done at the point.  I looked down and saw my arm swelling up. I call over the nurse and they flipped out.  Luckily, I hadn't had a lot of the actual chemo medicine at this point but my arm was really bruised and hurt for several months. I can still feel the sensitivity even today.  Such a weird experience! I remember crying because I just wanted my momma and no one could be there with me, thank you RONA!  I was texting her during it and she was flipping out too because she couldn't come in.  But, we made it and God once again had his protection all over me. 

After all that, I got to ring THE BELL. I didn't think it would be emotional but it was very emotional. But in a mix of emotions sort of way. I came to really like the people I saw all the time in the doctor's office,  even the lab people were so sweet! It hit me harder than I thought it would, but for all the right reasons. 

**side story, I was ear hustling their conversation one day and they were getting chic fil a for lunch. I was starving and said oh my gosh that sounds good! They were so sweet and offered to even get me some. just good people in there y'all.**

Well,  y'all....that is pretty much my story. The good, the bad, the ugly.  That is my journey as best as I can recall. It was a short time in reality, but seemed like a really long time while it was all happening.  I am so happy to report God saw me through, and I am healthy and thriving today.  

I think God has big plans for this little blog platform! I just feel like we have a lot of light to share together! I want to challenge you, if you are reading this today, send the link to a friend.   I have nothing to gain (you know like some people are sponsored...ya not this girl) my heart really is just to encourage as many people as I can with what tools God has given me, and He has given me a pretty cool story!   

I love you guys so very much and can't wait to keep blogging about well....whatever life brings! I am currently house hunting,,,,now there are some stories! 

until next time lovers! 

XO! 

February 2020

Hey Lovers! 

February. I was suppose to start chemo on my birthday weekend! Happy Birthday MMEE!!!  Fortunately for your girl over here, insurance was dddrrrraaaagggging their feet and it was not approved in time.  So, I got to enjoy a quiet birthday weekend with my girls.  We laughed, we ate junk, we drank and just hung out.  My favorite way to spend a weekend! 

The next week was the longest/slowest week.  I remember every other thought that ran through my head was some version of  "I'm barely 35 and here I am on chemotherapy".  While my faith in our Lord was unfailing I couldn't help but wonder what was to come. Would I be super sick? Which of the list of side effects would show up in me?  How long would they last?  I put on a brave face but inside I was scared to death. A few hundred what if thoughts, a few break downs (pro tip, the shower is a great place to have a break down!), and countless conversations later the day had come.  I took a half day off work because it takes 40 forevers to get poison pumped into your system. My momma picked me up from my house and we headed out.  

I said it in my last post but walking into an oncology office hits way differently as a patient.  Traditionally you get your blood drawn, see the doctor and then go get your poison of choice.  Funny thing is that isn't even a joke in this case...although a dr. pepper sounds just amazing as I type this...back on topic because I digress! My friend/doctor set it up so I just had to go in and get the infusion to cut down on time off work. Little did we know 'Rona was on her way to rock our world's forever (it seems).  I get called back to "the tank" as they call it. Basically it's just like you see on TV, it's literally a bunch of lounge chairs with people hooked up to IV's....not a place you want to be! The nurses are so upbeat, and break out in song every now and again, and it's good people watching while you have nothing else to do! 

They get me hooked up and my nurse talks me through everything being my first time (don't worry the next time you don't get that treatment).  You get a nausea medicine first that is suppose to be like really strong, I was never nauseous so I guess it worked? After your nausea meds, they start your chemo medicine. Evidently this medicine is known to hurt because they kept coming over and asking me if I was ok, I would say yes, and they would walk away amazed. Of course I would laugh! Well, a few hours later they un-hook you and you are able to go.  Then I would take pills for two weeks before having an off week which would complete the 3 week cycle. 

My mom decided she was going to spend the night with me because she wanted to make sure I wasn't going to get sick during the night or have some reaction.  We ordered in food, and just stayed up talking and watching TV. Something we rarely get to do just the two of us.   Luckily, I slept really really well! No sickness, and just a touch of cold sensitivity.  We make coffee and end up talking some more, until dad calls and asked if we had started breakfast..OOPS! We hadn't even turned on the tv we ere so busy talking over coffee.  But never you fear, the breakfast king came to the rescue!  This little tradition is something I treasure about the whole experience.  

I pretty much make it through round one with no side effects. I did end up in the ER once because I got fever but it was nothing  (thank you LORD!).  My doctor was super glad I could report no side effects from the first round when I went in for my mid-cycle checkup. 

So three weeks later we did it again! Although, the second time I got my levels checked (which is why they do it) my liver levels were real high...so we put it off a week and she decreased how much I was getting. My body obviously couldn't handle that amount we started with.  

The second round was pretty much identical to the first. Went in, got the infusion taken care of and went home with no real side effects to report.  But I would score another momma slumber party and daddy breakfast! 

So I guess it was a pretty uneventful month, I mean if you don't count putting poison in your body! Hahaha!  But seriously, I thank God every day for His provision of health and lack of side effects. I thank him for the sweet nurses who worked on me. I thank him for my great support system.  This part of the story much like the first half could have been soooo different! 

'Rona's coming y'all....

until next time! 

XO! 

January 2020

Well Lovers, we made it! 2020! Perfect Vision, the year it's all gonna happen! This is our year!

If we only knew what was coming! I have to wonder if our worlds would have looked little differently the first couple months of the year if we had God's insight into the rest of it.  I feel like we would have been way more prepared in the education world! We went from one way of life one day and did 180 degree shift basically over night in how we operated, reached our kids, and kept the ball rolling as best we could.  I think if we could have prepared our families and students it would have looked differently, or at least some of the anxiety could have been lifted.  But we learned a lot, made it through as we do, and now we have a much better grasp on the whole as to how to handle situations like "The 'Rona".

SOO...January.....As I remember it was a very strange month.  It was filled with doctors appointments and uncertainty.   I met with my medical oncologist for the first time. **You won't believe this lovers, but my oncologist is actually a good friend I graduated high school with! Get chu an oncologist with an extra invested interest in you for sure!!**

It's a very humbling experience to walk into an oncologist office period but especially humbling to walk in as a patient, It's very overwhelming.   You are given alot of information.  Like ALOT of information.   We were in the room with my doctor for about an hour or more.  We know my diagnosis and stage but what we didn't know is where to proceed.  So my doctor laid out a few plans of action.   One plan you basically came in, the hooked you up with your chemo and you would wear a fanny pack for a week or two (I can't remember because I didn't choose that one) side effects traditionally were less because it was a slow release instead of a couple hour infusion.  The other option, the one I went with, was a combo of pills and a triweekly infusion.  This is what I went with in the end because it was less in and out of the doctors office and my friend even worked my schedule to make it even more minimal to come in. After this appointment we were told to go home process everything and she was going to present my case (evidently I was presented alot) to the board of doctors and we would reconvene in a few weeks to make a plan. There was a possibility I wouldn't need any sort of treatment.  That was a very bright spot, even a glimmer of hope to not have to go through chemo.

A few weeks pass, I continue life as normal, and we meet back with my doctor. As promised she met with the board and she told us basically no one would say I was crazy if I denied chemo since nothing had spread, and I was a stage 2A,  I then asked her, if she were in my position what would she do. She paused, thought not as a doctor but as my friend, and said "I would probably go ahead with treatment. If for no other reason but to give yourself the best shot of it not coming back."  I looked at my mom and for the first time I cried.   My mom simply hugged me, took my hand and said we will get through it.  With that the next few months would be devoted to staying healthy and simply getting though the chemo process.  The good news is because of my diagnosis I only had to do half of the usual 8 rounds.

About a week later, we had an education appointment where things continue to get real. In this appointment my sweet sweet nurse Tiffany went through everything chemo.  My mom was late to this appointment and God love if I wasn't crying when she walked in! Time two I broke down, what cha gonna do?!  We took in all the information mostly what to expect and every horrible side effect  that could and would happen. Chemo reacts differently to every person so they can't tell you exactly  what to expect but they can give you an idea based on what others have experienced,   The one thing I was told I could absolutely expect is cold sensitivity.  The particular chemo I was on affects your nerves causing you to become extremely sensitive to cold.  What they couldn't tell you is how sensitive you would become.  I had some major anxiety over starting this whole thing BUT what I did know in all the uncertainty is God was in the middle of everything, which gave me more peace than absolutely anything.

What I learned, along with how amazing God's promise to never leave you is, is to always take someone with you to major doctors appointments. As the patient you get overwhelmed very quickly. If you are like me at all, you hear key words and you basically just continue hearing those words over and over in your mind and it becomes hard to focus. So having someone else there gives you an extra set of eyes and ears to say "did you hear this?" "did they say that?". My mom was invaluable because we would decompress after appointments to make sure we heard the same, and her steadfast calm brought peace to me in a chaotic time. So if you are reading this thank you!! Also, get chu a momma like Bell Jackson!


Well, wasn't January a fun month? HAHA!

Until next time lovers!

XO!

December 2019

Hey Lovers!

So if you have been reading and following along so far in this journey of ours...we have been through 2 hospital stays, surgery, and countless medical tests. I was so happy that December was finally here! Traditionally December is my very favorite month of the year. Something about the warm colors of Christmas, Christmas music everywhere, my TV pretty much stays on Hallmark, so many sweet traditions, and very most important the birth of our Lord! SOOOO much good stuff packed into one month, but this year it would be different. 

Unfortunately, this would not be a typical year.  Remember how I told you I fought like crazy to get back on my feet and get back to work? Mission accomplished! I went back to work and it was the best feeling in the world and made me the most tired I have been at the same time.  I am a 0 or 100 kind of person, so it was hard on me to not be able to jump back in full force.  But let me tell you something, just having purpose each day made all the difference in the world for my mental health. Having a reason to get out of bed,  a real purpose other than occupying space on my couch,  made me be able to hold my head up again.  All the sudden, setting an alarm wasn't the worst thing in the world but a signal of life is getting back to normal.   Taking Jackson out for his morning walk wasn't a chore anymore but a privilege.  Life is really in the little things, I have always known this but December 2019 really cemented it in my brain. 

While yes, I do feel like I parts of the holiday season got robbed from me.  I had to forgo many traditions One I especially missed was throwing my annual girlfriends party. I look forward to each year I gained a completely knew appreciation  for the smaller things in life.  One of my favorite memories from the Holiday Season this year was my parents coming over one evening getting all my Christmas stuff out and insisting I decorate my living room, I didn't realize how much I would need that, but they did, and I am so grateful for their wisdom in knowing I would need that,  I shopped almost completely off of amazon, which was a new experience for me as well. I like to go out to the stores shop and hunt for that perfect gift. That wasn't physically possible this year but that's ok.  

Really, the timing could not have been better. I worked for about 3 weeks and then was off for our regularly scheduled Christmas Vacation.  Now, I don't remember if I told you this before BUT before I got sick my friend Lauren and I planned a trip to NYC to be there over the New Year.   When the surgeon and I were discussing surgery and recovery....my main concern was that my trip wasn't going to be missed.    This trip had several bucket list items on our agenda. 

#1 seeing the Radio City Rockettes Christmas Spectacular.  I can't explain to you how much it meant to me to finally see this show live and in person.  I am 5'2" so being a Rockette was never in the cards for me but I always looked to them in awe as a kid growing up as a dancer.  I cried when we booked our tickets and fan girled when we were able to meet one of the girls on the current Rockette line.  We even sat next to two ladies who had been traveling together forever (much like us) and every year they come to see the show. They were so giddy it was our first time...so fun sitting by them! 

#2 seeing Wicked on Broadway. wow. wow. wow. This is one of my favorite shows and I have seen the touring company many places but never in New York, There is something about seeing a show in it's "home" that adds a certain extra excitement  to it and it didn't disappoint one bit! 

#3 we got to see The big Rockafellar Plaza tree. ok, ok,..im gonna say it. It was a bit underwhelming. It was beautiful but I pictured it bigger and differently for some reason. But none the less it was so amazing to get to see it in person!

We had the most wonderful week of sight seeing, running around NYC, seeing shows and spending time laughing and just living.  We had the cutest little apartment but we would literally come in shower and throw ourselves in bed, get up and get out the door and do it all again,   I have never slept so good in my life! By the end of the week we were pros at ordering on the go foods from a deli and jumping on the train to "get to town" as we say.  Leaving to come home was bitter sweet. The trip was straight from God, at the exact right time in my life I needed it most.   

I'm going to leave you with a few pictures from our trip.  But as I wrap this post up about a mostly celebratory month a bible verse sticks out to me that really is a theme of my whole experience.  It is John 11:4 " This sickness will not end in death, No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified though it".  The funny thing about that verse is this, that has been/is my specific prayer and just recently that specific verse was brought to light! If there is one thing I want to convey from this experience it is how amazing God is. He completely went before me to pave the way , stood beside me with comfort and peace, and stayed behind me always making sure I was safe.  It's because of HIM I had and have a peace that passes all understanding.

Until next time...yep....2020 is on deck....if we only knew what was coming amiright?! 

XO!!!